Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
