I want to walk on stilts...naked
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
third nipple confirmed
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
