i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
