if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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