Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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