this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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