You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
