She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
