Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
