Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
