She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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