It's like God shit irony all over that family
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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