Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
