Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
