if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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