She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
