I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
