Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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