that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
