So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
