I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
