I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
