I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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