Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
