Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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