I feel great
I just peed on a car
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The feeling are messing with the penis
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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