I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
