Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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