Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Your penis caused this!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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