yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
