she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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