Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
