you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
