So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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