My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
