I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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