So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
being pregnant is like rehab
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
