you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
