school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
