I am in a vortex of obligation.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
