What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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