note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
