Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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