You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
