well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
