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I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
whose parrot is this?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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