im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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