You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
