Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
