I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
