all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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