How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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